of course i believe in love, but why does it have to be so immediate? you can't be happy w/ someone else unless you're happy with yourself first, right? sometimes on those lonely nights i think about the guy i left back home. i think about what great fun we had, how i miss him. i want to believe that he thinks about me often because i think about him. then i realize that it's a fantasy. this perfect little relationship i've conjured up in my head, to help me cope w/ my feelings of loneliness, that actually didn't exist. not to say that we don't adore each other or that he doesn't miss me, but rather that the fantasy of our perfect euphoric relationship is just not the reality. i talk to him every so often and wonder if he thinks about me, too. his tone is much to vague to discern.
i realize that i will be gone for 2 years and that it's unrealistic to think that we'll pick up where we left off. things happen, people change. but for now, ignorance is bliss. i want to frolic in the best of all imaginary tomorrows. call me naïve...call me delusional. i don't want to hear about who he's dating. i don't want my friends to text me about it. i don't want to see it on my FB mini-feed. i don't want him to tell me about it. i just don't want to know.
reality is how you perceive it.
1 comments:
I think at the end of 2 years you will not be so heartbroken and everything will be in a different perspective.. keep your chin up!
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